This Reality [part 1: There is more to life than dreaming.]

If you've been a follower of my blog for anytime at all, you may have noticed a couple things about me: (1. I love to daydream, and (2. I love to talk about boys. But recently, I've been becoming convicted that sometimes, those two things can be much more of a hindrance than a fun past time. I know, I know, you're probably thinking I'm crazy. But hear me out.

The thing about daydreaming is, it can be very helpful. Like when you're trying to think of a new story line for a book you're writing. But a lot of the time (for me anyways) daydreaming can really cause me trouble. It makes me become very discontent with my life because, well, my imagination world is just so much better. It makes me long for things I don't have and become jealous of those who do have it. It makes me spend way too much time on my computer or reading, as it can be a great distraction from reality. It makes the days mush together and expectations far too high and can even cause me to sin and make mistakes. It can make me unhappy with myself and with others because we don't live up to my dream versions that I have created.

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalm 118:24 

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth, keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you." - Proverbs 4:23-26

I daydream about the past, remembering what I used to have and wish I still had. I daydream about the future and what could happen. I daydream about who I'd like to be. What if I talked to that cute boy. Went up and apologized to people who's relationship with me has been damaged. If I told off the people who make me tick.

But the thing is this: by daydreaming, I'm ruining my life. By daydreaming, I'm getting nothing accomplished. By daydreaming, I'm losing myself and my relationship with God. It's all crumbling around me because I choose to spend my time elsewhere. A place that is no more real than a fairytale. And a fairytale, is exactly what it is.

It's not that I think that all daydreaming is bad. It's not that I think you can't have hopes for the future. It's not like I don't believe in fairy tales. I'm just realizing that who I am is not all I want need to be. And daydreaming about that person is just a waste of time. I don't want to look back on my life and remembering these precious, exciting years as being filled with mindless fantasys that never happened. Of hours upon hours of looking at photographs and facebook updates, a lot of which I won't remember in years to come. Of bad grades because I couldn't concentrate. There is more to life than dreaming.

So, yes I will still read books. So, yes I'll still pray and wait for my One True Love. So, yes I will still update my blog. But it's not going to be my world; just a part of it. Just a fraction of what truly, deeply matters. And that's a better relationship with God, my family, and my friends. It's about loving and cherishing what I have and that it's all that I need right now. I know that it takes a vision to get things accomplished. But for me, and my life, I want my vision to come from God.

Please don't take this personaly, it's just something I'm going through right now. I'm not saying that a little daydreaming is horrible, simply that it has been consuming my world.

[ps! I updated by About Me & changed my header. Thoughts?]