This Reality [part 2: the thing about love].

I love boys. It's just as simple as that. I love how they're so laid back about everything. I love how they're always cracking jokes and acting silly. I love how when they smile, they make you want to smile too. I love the idea of falling in love. Of gazing under the stars, holding onto his hand. Of writing songs together. Of caring for the other when they need caring. I want a Landon Carter...a Will Blakelee...a Noah Calhoun...a Jack Dawson...a Mr. Darcy.

Girls obsess with guys. It's just a thing we do. We like to flirt and talk and over-annalize their every move. Teens in my town are constantly breaking up and entering new relationships, some with scars over a broken heart, to which they must get over. It's a constant cycle and one that I admit, am a part of. Not so much the getting together and breaking up. No, I've never had a boyfriend. But I sure do like to talk about the opposite sex. Probably far more than is needed.

So here's my point (and one that I find so hard to state in words): Love should flow, and not be forced. Love is patient. True love waits, but not just physically, but also mentally. I can't help but think that the most amazing thing I could give the guy I love, is myself. My first kiss, my first "I love you," (in the romantic sense), my first everything. I don't want to hold his hand and compare it to the time or two it's been held before. I don't want to have experience. I don't want to have anyone else, but him. And even though it's incredably hard not to get wrapped up in the guys I see and the things they do, I know that I have to be patient. If it's meant to be, it'll be and the butterflys I feel will continue.

So, I still love boys. I still love when they acknowledge me. My heart still quickens a bit thinking of certain ones. But I know that in the long run, it's best not to get too swept up. There's time for that. There's time for that head-over-heels feeling. If it happens tomorrow? I'll pray. I'll pray that if he's the one, he's the one. And that unless it's for my own good, that no boy comes into my life only to leave.

I'll also admit, that I'm a huge hypocrite. I say these things, type these words, and than the next day wake up and fall deep into the spaztic maddness that is my teenage dreams. I'll also say, that I'm not here to tell you what to do. I know people with boyfriends and girlfriends who I admire and respect. Their path may be different than mine. But for a long time I've been convicted in this area.

Don't hate me if I slip and wish to land in his arms. Don't hate me if I want to melt at his smile. I'm just writing for the sake of getting it off my chest and maybe inspiring you, if just a little bit, to think a second time about Sir Cuteness.