this year//next year.

I know my blog's a mess, but I wanted to post anyway. It's been so long since I've actually published something of worth; I feel so out of the loop. But I don't want to let this blog go. I think that if I were to do that, it'd be a mistake. At least for the time being. Plus: there's something so rewarding about putting some of your thoughts and feelings out there. Only some, of course.

January 2012 is vastly approaching and I still don't know what I'm going to do with my blog. It's so messy and weird! It's weird. I'm falling hugely in the design department. I get frustrated and quit -- it's like I know what I want (kind of) but I don't know how to get there. And, not to be a cheap wad, but I really really don't want to pay for a remodeling job or for extras or for help. 

Annnnyways. I don't really think you can force a good year upon you. I mean, you can change things, take a leap of faith - but you can't really force good things to happen. So, my prayer, my hope, my dream for 2012 is this:

to be happy. to have fun. to feel peace.

to be sixteen. to live. to breathe.

to love jesus, like really love jesus.

to not be weighed down.

i want 2012 to be magical. to be special. to be genuine.

a year from now, i want to be like - whoa. 2012 was amazing.

So maybe God, if you're reading this, which I know you are -- maybe you could make some magic happen? Make some dreams come true? A little love and sugar. A year of change; of firsts. Good change. Good firsts. Sunshine and beauty. Please oh please oh please? 

ps. 

I'm thinking of changing my blog name.

maybe like, "The wallflower"? 

I'm not sure.

Does somebody already have that name? 

wefjuwhfiwuhfwef.

comment below.