i don't really have anything specific to write about tonight. i just was gazing at my blog and realized i hadn't posted in awhile. i feel like slowly i'm starting to get back to that part of me that writes all the time. for awhile there, i was on some sort of writing hiatus. it was scary, actually, because writing is and always has been such a part of who i am. since i was super young i've been writing stories and poems. pretending i was some big shot author.
and hopefully.. eventually.. i'll slowly be getting back to my old self in its entirety. i realize that too much has happened in my life for me to be the same as i was when i was thirteen. when i was so pure and whole. i realize that change is inevitable and can be a good thing. it's just that i feel like recently i've lost too much of who i was. i've lost too much of what made me, me. my heart, my soul. i don't want to live life like it's some mascaraed party. i want to live life for jesus. i want to live life who i am and who i'm supposed to be, not afraid of anything.