thursday nights are good nights.

i'm settling in for the night with a cup full of root beer, my twinkly lights aglow, and gossip girl (season 5!). i'm so thankful it's friday tomorrow. i'm definitely in need of a weekend full of movies, bacon and egg sandwiches, and my friends with our crazy adventures. school can be so overwhelming sometimes. it's not like i regret my switch from home schooling to public school.. and it's not like i'm having such a "hard time" like everybody thought i would. it's just that it's stressful and tiring. like it is for eveeeryone. 

 

i don't really have anything specific to write about tonight. i just was gazing at my blog and realized i hadn't posted in awhile. i feel like slowly i'm starting to get back to that part of me that writes all the time. for awhile there, i was on some sort of writing hiatus. it was scary, actually, because writing is and always has been such a part of who i am. since i was super young i've been writing stories and poems. pretending i was some big shot author. 

and hopefully.. eventually.. i'll slowly be getting back to my old self in its entirety. i realize that too much has happened in my life for me to be the same as i was when i was thirteen. when i was so pure and whole. i realize that change is inevitable and can be a good thing. it's just that i feel like recently i've lost too much of who i was. i've lost too much of what made me, me. my heart, my soul. i don't want to live life like it's some mascaraed party. i want to live life for jesus. i want to live life who i am and who i'm supposed to be, not afraid of anything.