Saturday, January 29

If I could be anywhere....

If I could be anywhere else but here (which is, at the moment, starring at the ugly mess of snow covering my part of the earth) I would choose to be in California. Los Angeles, California to be exact. I'd be sipping some kind of iced coffee from Starbucks or some other cute little coffee shop. I'd have on huge, bug eyed sunglasses and a large, floppy hat. I'd carry a large beach tote with sunscreen and my bathing suit inside. Walking beside me would be one of my closest friends, dressed casually and similar to me, carrying her own iced beverage. We'd walk and talk and window shop. We'd laugh and sing and be happy. We'd end up at the beach and meet our boyfriends (our handsome, charming boyfriends) and do all kinds of fun things like build sandcastles and surf and snap pictures. We're all seventeen, it's the summer before we graduate. Life is blissful and fantastic. Love is oozing from every ounce of air. We're young and carefree and happy....

But then I look outside. It's gloomy and I'm alone. Next to me is my guitar I can't play. My room is a rather messy site and poorly lit at that. Nobody is texting me back and I feel sort of tired, but not the sleeping kind of tired. I'm depressed, I guess you could say. Depressed, sad, and sick of my current state. I need change: change of weather, change of scenery, and change of lifestyle. I'm sick of trying to act a certain way. I'm sick of waiting weeks for my old best friends to talk to me. I'm sick of starring from a distance at you-know-who. I'm sick of having nothing to do some days. I'm sick of snow and coats and boots. I'm sick of the same old drama between everyone. I'm sick of never being a good enough Christian.

I just need to make things happen, instead of sitting around waiting for it to happen to me. Most of the greatest moments of my life, I had to work to get there. I had to face some fear. I had to overcome a challenge or stand up in the mist of awkward glances and feeling like an outsider. I haven't done that in awhile, guys and quite honestly? It's about time I start.

Any advice?


  1. Tonight I was out with a bunch of friends, walking around the bitterly cold Minnesota and my friend Caleb just goes, "WHY do we live here??"

    It's so true, isn't it? Grr... cold weather, go away!!

  2. i sometimes still have those days. i refer to them as my "off days" and "being stuck in a funk." just know that in time it will pass & you will get your LA vacation. but don't forget to make the most of each day. i've learned that the hard way. to your life into your own hands and run with it! have fun!! make new friends and explore what God has to offer for each of us here. even when life i tougher than tough, enjoy it for what it's worth. easier said than done, i know. i work on it myself daily. good luck girly. :)

  3. This post is beautiful, really. I often feel the same way. But I realized, as long as you believe you can do it, you will. :)

  4. Love your California dream. In high school, my best friend and I used to write stories about us going to exotic places and meeting boys and fun stuff like that, and this reminded me a lot of that.

    Have a great weekend :)

  5. Jodie, I love your writing. It's so well crafted! I think you have given yourself your own advice. Pick yourself up by your bootstraps, and make it happen. It's so difficult to do but so rewarding!


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