Thursday, November 21

i'm not a native especially not in chemistry class

so i was sitting there,  in chemistry class, and i was with people that i know but aren't necessarily friends with, and all of a sudden i feel like an alien, like i couldn't have been more of an outsider.

have you ever felt that way?

maybe someone said something that offended you or everyone around you has different beliefs, opinions, hobbies. but whatever the case, you can almost just see the wall that separates you from the others and all you desire is to escape to somewhere else.

it gets even worse when one of your best friends, someone who you thought you were on the same page on, perhaps feels threatened of being an outsider themselves, and so they change. they go along with the flow. they throw out a couple cuss words and pretend they don't give a crap. 

well i'm sorry but that's not the way i roll. 

so many of the kids at school pretend  to be "cool".

and i'm not cool. at all. 

i'm a reject, i'm a foreigner, i'm a freak. i don't belong here so why am i pretending? 

i trust that god's going to use me to do big things, great things, for him. i trust that there are times when i'm going to be insanely happy. good things are going to happen. i will succeed sooner or later. but i also know that this home is temporary. we don't belong here. there's so much more than parties and alcohol and raunchy sex. there's so much more than the kinds of clothes you wear or who you hang out with or how you talk. life is so much more, YOU are so much more.

if you ever feel like an alien sometimes, know that you're not alone. 

and that maybe being an alien is actually a good thing.

even if it feels like crap.

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